Although Interflora decided to wrestle me from my bed yesterday, I decided not to share my delivery until today as today is our wedding anniversary. Spoilt? I should cocoa! The most beautiful pink bouquet of flowers, a lush and cuddly teddy and six helium ballons...one for each year (if he keep that up it could be scary before long). The nicest thing though is the fact that he's alongside in Crete for a few days so we actually got to talk to each other. I have no idea what it has been with this trip but there's been a lot of soul searching in our relationship over the past couple years and I'm now at a place where I didn't think i'd be. I know marriages have their rough patches but I kind of always thought that a rough patch spelt 'the end', guess it's just because my first marriage ended completely out of the blue with no preceeding issues.
I'm so lucky to be with someone who, like me, believes that marriages can be hard work, especially when you spend FAR less than half your time together. It's that time that either brings you much closer together or drives a huge bloody great wedge between you. In our case, it's definately the former. Neither of us are perfect and we accept our faults and love in each other because of them rather than love each other in spite of them. Only eight years ago, I remember breaking down in tears to my dad, who by the way has never been the one to speak to about 'emotional stuff'. What worried me wasn't being on my own, it was not being physically able to love anyone again. I genuinely didn't feel like I would ever allow someone to become close to me again and a couple of relationships I dabbled with just proved my point. When someone once told me they loved me I told them, 'shut up, you couldn't possibly love me this early'. It spelt the end of one quite promising relationship at the time.
I guess that when Pete came into my life, I was in a completely different place. I'd just got to the stage where I was convinced that I would spend the rest of my life with my daughter...not like some hermit crab as I had a great social life and a really great bunch of friends, but I wasn't looking for a relationship at all, just some fun nights out and maybe meeting some new people and having a laugh. I think that's why everyone was so shocked that after only six weeks of meeting, Pete and I were engaged to be married. I guess we just knew. People thought (either quietly or loudly) that we were making a mistake and being rash, but I think that by now we've proved them wrong.
Even when we've had our bad times, the truth is we've never imagined our lives without each other and never could. I can't imagine my life without my soul mate. We can be like chalk and cheese with some things, but I know that noone will ever understand me the way he does. So happy anniversary honey. XXX
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